Featured Friend: Orphaned Land Is Back

This Thanksgiving Give Thanks For That Special Non-Jew In Your Life.

As someone of you may know, I am married to a non-Jew. So every now and again, I get asked about the question/problem of intermarriage. Recently, a friend wrote to me that he is concerned about bringing home his non-Jewish girlfriend for the holidays.

So as part of a Thanksgiving special, here is the agnostic Rabbi’s advice:

I hear your concern. Being Jewish is important to you and you do not want to lose that. You want to raise a Jewish family. Fair enough. But I don’t think your apprehension is completely rational. I say this because people like you and I have at least ten Jews inside of them If your partner is open to your tradition, then your household will also be Jewish. It may be more than just Jewish – but is will also be Jewish. The key is finding someone who understands and is open to the place of Judaism in your life.

That said, you might have to be open to her traditions as well. Embrace the diversity. With the right approach there is room for all.

But what about the children? I think the argument about children underestimates children’s intelligence. I know people who grew up in a multi-cultural home and they really benefited from the experience. Yes, at some stage in their mental development children see things in black and white, but there is no reason why a Christmas tree and a menorah cannot constitute one category for the child. you see what I am saying?

If the parents do not present the different traditions in an exclusive and confrontational manner than there really should be no major problem. While it is true that outside the home the child will brush-up against different interpretations of his/hers traditions, with a strong and positive multi-cultural foundation he/she will be equipped to handle that. After all, that happens even when you grew up within a singe tradition – a passover at my house is very different than a passover at your house.

In the end, I would say that if you are lucky enough to know love, and if your partner happens to have been raised in another tradition, do not let accident of birth divide you. It really does not get better than love. If you got it: cherish it, nourish it and protect it.

These are my two shekels. Of course I could be wrong. But given my present state of affairs, I sure hope I am right.

The Tears Behind the Statistics: Unsolved Homicides In Miami.

While this blog deals primarily with issues relating to the Arab-Israeli conflict, every once in a while I feel compelled and inspired to post something different. This is such an occasion. Please take time to read and repost this powerful and important article by Terence Cantarella. In this piece Cantarella looks into the problem of unsolved Miami homicides through the lens of a mother struggling with chronic grief and depression. As a gifted writer, Cantarella reminds us that behind the troubling statistics, behind the sociological studies of urban decay, there lies the often neglected human dimension.

Although a year has passed since her son’s death, Tawana Fairell still can’t sleep at night. She can’t concentrate, can’t shed her feelings of guilt, and trusts no one. She’s not the same person she used to be. She can’t even look at Alex’s picture anymore. She had to turn it around to face the wall. Not knowing why her child was killed is torture. Knowing that the killer, or killers, freely roam the same city streets where she and her family live, haunts her like nothing else.

Seated at a picnic table at Charles Hadley Park in Liberty City, the soft-spoken single mother of three boys speaks eloquently about her late son with a mixture of heartache and exhaustion: “Sometimes I think God sees how much I love my sons and is jealous and is looking for ways to get my attention away. Everyone tells me God doesn’t work like that, but I just can’t understand why my son isn’t here right now. I picture the worst. I imagine him screaming and calling out for me and I wasn’t there for him. I sleep with every light on in the house. I’m afraid he might come to me in the night with that burnt side of his face. I get headaches every night on my left side and my left eye gets blurry. I feel like I’m going crazy.”

To read more, please click here.

Fascinating Interview with Aziz Abu Sarah

The Jerusalem Post has just published a fascinating in-depth interview with Aziz Abu Sarah, Palestinian writer and peace activist. In it, Abu Sarah speaks candidly about the difficult journey he has undergone from a boy consumed by hatred and revenge to a man guided by empathy, compassion and justice. Abu Sarah’s words should be read by anyone who reduces Palestinian/human agency to outside forces – i.e. those who blame Islam, or those who blame the occupation. I have no doubt that if we could clone Abu Sarah a thousand times (split evenly between Israel and Palestine) there will be an end to this conflict.

Thomas Friedman’s “Fuck It” Moment: US Should Withdraw From the Peace Process.

As anyone who has been involved in peace-making efforts between Israelis and Palestinians knows, there comes a moment where you are compelled to say “fuck it.” This is the moment when you say to yourself: “Let’s be honest, this peace-process is an exercise in futility. These people deserve each other. I am going to wash my hands clean of this mess. Fuck it!”

Yesterday, Thomas Friedman had his own “fuck it” moment. He shared it with the world, arguing in the NYT that until Israelis and Palestinians reach a mutually hurting stalemate, until both parties prove they really want peace, the United States should remove itself completely from the peace process.

Have a read:

Today, the Arabs, Israel and the Palestinians are clearly not feeling enough pain to do anything hard for peace with each other — a mood best summed up by a phrase making the rounds at the State Department: The Palestinian leadership “wants a deal with Israel without any negotiations” and Israel’s leadership “wants negotiations with the Palestinians without any deal.”

It is obvious that this Israeli government believes it can have peace with the Palestinians and keep the West Bank, this Palestinian Authority still can’t decide whether to reconcile with the Jewish state or criminalize it and this Hamas leadership would rather let Palestinians live forever in the hellish squalor that is Gaza than give up its crazy fantasy of an Islamic Republic in Palestine.

If we are still begging Israel to stop building settlements, which is so manifestly idiotic, and the Palestinians to come to negotiations, which is so manifestly in their interest, and the Saudis to just give Israel a wink, which is so manifestly pathetic, we are in the wrong place. It’s time to call a halt to this dysfunctional “peace process,” which is only damaging the Obama team’s credibility.

If the status quo is this tolerable for the parties, then I say, let them enjoy it. I just don’t want to subsidize it or anesthetize it anymore. We need to fix America. If and when they get serious, they’ll find us. And when they do, we should put a detailed U.S. plan for a two-state solution, with borders, on the table. Let’s fight about something big.

J Street Conference: Birth of Movement.

Over at Al Jazeera, I report on J Street’s first national conference.

They came in droves. Over 1,500 people mobilised in Washington last week to support J Street – the nascent Jewish-American lobbying organisation that defines itself as “Pro-Israel, Pro-Peace”.

J Street’s vision is for a secure and democratic Israel existing side-by-side in peace and security with a Palestinian state. As a lobbying organisation, it is recognised by many as an alternative to the American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC).

Unlike the more established and powerful AIPAC, which tends to tailor its support to Israel’s governmental point of view, J Street differentiates between support for Israel and support for the policies of the Israeli government.

The mood at the conference was buoyant and forward-looking. For three days, participants listened to speeches by notable politicians and intellectuals; gathered for panels headed by some of today’s top Middle East analysts; and networked in the hallways of the Hyatt hotel.

“We couldn’t be more thrilled,” said Jeremy Ben-Ami, J Street’s executive director, “The numbers of participants far exceeded our expectations – 148 congressmen supported the event, 250 students, and reporters from 17 countries came. This is truly the birth of a movement.”

The enthusiasm of Ben-Ami was shared by many other attendees.

To read more, click here.

Music Break: Mercedes Sosa in Israel singing in Hebrew an Aviv Geffen Song.

May her beautiful and powerful soul rest in peace.

Should the Palestinians Accept Israel as a Jewish State? A Constructive Debate.

In Haaretz, my fruitful exchange/debate with Palestinian writer Aziz Abu Sarah on whether the Palestinians should accept Israel as a Jewish state.

Should the Palestinians Accept Israel as a Jewish State?
By Roi Ben-Yehuda and Aziz Abu Sarah

Ever since his June speech at Bar-Ilan University, Prime Minster Benjamin Netanyahu has made it clear that peace with the Palestinians is conditioned on the latter accepting Israel as a Jewish state.

During his much-lauded address at the United Nations, Netanyahu reiterated his position:

“We ask the Palestinians to finally do what they have refused to do for 62 years: Say yes to a Jewish state. As simple, as clear, as elementary as that. Just as we are asked to recognize a nation-state for the Palestinian people, the Palestinians must be asked to recognize the nation-state of the Jewish people.”

The Palestinians, for their part, have rejected Netanyahu’s position. Their claim rests on three assertions: It is not the business of Palestinians to recognize the Jewish nature of Israel. Such recognition would endanger the rights of Palestinian citizens of Israel. Acknowledging the Jewish state would negate the Palestinian right of return.

So, should the Palestinians accept a Jewish State? Israeli and Palestinian writers Roi Ben-Yehuda and Aziz Abu Sarah got together to explore the topic. The following is their exchange.

Ben-Yehuda: Aziz, I am happy to have the opportunity for this exchange with you. I will start off this discussion by stating that I think Netanyahu’s position (which was first articulated by Ehud Olmert and Tzipi Livni) is a good one.

I support this position because it provides the Palestinians a real opportunity to put their cards on the table: To state in an unequivocal fashion that they are ready to make peace with Israel, i.e. to renounce the right of return which is incompatible with a two-state solution.

I also support this position because recognizing Israel as a Jewish state will go a long way toward allaying some of the basic existential fears of the Israeli people. In so doing, it will enable the government to conduct negotiations without fearing that concessions will lead to loss of identity or security (not to mention loss of political power back home).

I say this as an unapologetic Zionist and peacenik – as someone who believes that both the Jews and the Palestinians by virtue of being a people with deep historic ties to the land have a right to a state in part of Israel/Palestine.

Abu Sarah: Roi, you are right that recognition is important to allay the fears of Israelis, but Netanyahu’s demand is not a fair request. Palestinians still don’t even have a state as a direct result of Israel’s creation and the subsequent occupation of the West Bank. Equal recognition means the Palestinian recognition of Israel’s right to existence and Israeli recognition of Palestinians’ right to a state.

Recognizing Israel as a Jewish state would require a change of the Palestinian narrative and identity and would affect the rights of Palestinians citizens of Israel. Furthermore, such recognition before a just solution to the Palestinian refugee problem would dishonor the suffering of these refugees. Palestinians would be accepting the right of return of Jews who never lived in the land over those who were expelled from it.

Israel has peace agreements with Jordan and Egypt, yet neither of them had to recognize Israel as a Jewish State. These agreements have been successful regardless.

To read read the rest of the debate click here. As always, if the spirit moves you, please share your thoughts and repost.

Music Break: Nina Simone’s “Eretz Zavat Halav U’d’vash.”

For more, click here.

Wanted: Middle East statesmen

My latest from Al Jazeera.

As last week’s trilateral meeting in New York showed, forces outside the control of the offices of Binyamin Netanyahu, the Israeli prime minister, and Mahmoud Abbas, the Palestinian president, have pulled these leaders back into the peace camp.

This brought to mind a quote by the Roman statesman Seneca who once wrote: “The fates lead him who will; him who won’t they drag.”

So, what is next for the peace process? One word: Leadership.

The historian J. Rufus Fears once noted that great leaders – from Pericles to Lincoln to Churchill – share four characteristics. They are anchored in principles, guided by a moral compass, posses a vision, and have the ability to build a consensus to achieve their vision.

These are the qualities that distinguish them as statesmen, rather than mere politicians.

If Netanyahu and Abbas are sincere about bringing the century-old Israeli-Palestinian conflict to an end, they must stop being politicians and start being statesmen.

To read the rest, please click here. As always, if you like what you read, please leave a comment and repost elsewhere.