During the Middle Ages, the Inquisition used to “inspire” people to inform on individuals who were secretly Jewish, today, the Israeli government in partnership with the Jewish Agency is getting people to inform on Jews who are not Jewish enough.
In a morose video that harkens back to the [anachronistic] Zionist notion of shlilat ha’galut, the Israeli government and Jewish Agency have called on Israelis to identify “lost children” – i.e. assimilated Jews living in the Diaspora. The purpose of the advert is to send these wayward Jews on a year-long identity-strengthening stay in Israel, courtesy of Masa.
The advert asks its viewers “Do you know a young Jew in the Diaspora? Call the Masa project and together we will strengthen his ties to Israel so that he will not get lost on us.”
Oy vey, I can already envision my grandmother (Tata) calling:
Tata: Hello. Hello.
Tata: Shalom. I am calling to report a lost Jew.
Masa: Yes, please continue.
Tata: Not just any lost Jew, an Israeli living in the US.
Tata: How much is the reward?
Masa: Um, there is no financial reward. You will be satisfied to know that you are helping bring a lost sheep back to his flock. So how do you know this individual?
Tata: He is my grandchild.
Masa: Ok. How do you know he is assimilated?
Tata: Well, for starters he married a shiksa.
Masa: Yes. That is terrible. A sure sign that he is assimilated.
Tata: Don’t get me wrong. She is a lovely girl. Smart, beautiful and kind. They are happy together. They even celebrate the Jewish holidays together. But she is not Jewish. She is not Jewish!
Masa: Well, we can take care of that.
Masa: No, no, in the spirit of Ezra the scribe, we are going to get him to divorce her and marry a nice Jewish girl.
Tata: That seems harsh.
Masa: Don’t worry; in the end he will thank you. More importantly, you will have nachas.
Tata: Finally, an organization that gets me.
Masa: Yes we do. Mazal tov on taking the first step. We will take it from here.
Tata: Ok, just don’t tell him I called you.
Masa: No problem. It will be our little secret.